Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. — 1 Peter 3:1-2

OK – now – I have to confess. The above passage used to downright irritate me. I mean, c’mon! I am a Type-A woman raised in the 70s! I was not taught to submit 😉

Wait a minute, there, Laurie. Simmer down. What is God saying here ? Have you ever thought about it? When you were building your house, how many foremen were on the job?


There’s something to be said for figuring out who should be in charge in a marriage. That decision can be ….well….empowering. Let’s look at this from another angle. Check out what God has to say in Ephesians 5:22-33:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

What????? C’mon God! There’s that word SUBMIT again! Do you really mean submit in EVERYTHING?
Maybe this submission stuff is a decision on the part of this Type-A woman to loosen her fist a bit. Hmmmmm….That feels a bit more comfortable.

You can’t hold on to much with a defiant fist. As a matter of fact, have you ever tried to hold someone’s hand with your knotted fist?

–Enough with the fightin “my way or the highway” attitude, Laurie! –Get a REAL grip and drop the fist!
Hey…. Let’s read the rest of the story in the Book of Ephesians! Just LOOK what God has to say to your HUSBAND:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Wow — Now that’s heavy duty! Christ died for the church.

By the way, if your hubby is falling short on this — stop bossing him and start praying for him (More on this later) 😉

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Just look what God says we wives should do in Ephesians 33! We are not called to love…we are called to RESPECT our husbands! i.e. — Did you know RESPECT = LOVE to your hubby? He has a totally different view of love than you. His brain, quite truthfully, is wired differently. Thank Heavens!

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. — Ephesians 5:22-33

WOWEE ZOWEE! God is asking me to decide who is boss. He is giving me the power to choose. The choice is simple and very freeing. Cynthia Heald is quoted in “Capture His Heart” as putting it this way:

“Duck low enough so God can touch your husband.”

I guess I should stop the “in your face” evangelizing. — Very Type A of me! Lisa Terkeurst clarifies the “submission mission” in her book: “To be submissive does not mean to be a doormat and allow your husband to take advantage of you.”

We’re all bright women here. We know the difference. If you are a fellow Type A — join me in letting go and looking up. God is up there talking to us. We might even have to “duck” a bit.
This is the most powerful action we can take! Duck!
–More on the power of ducking later! Keep reading “Capture His Heart” — Chapters 2 & 3!

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